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Bruce Glasscock

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Daft Simon
Jul 29^th, 2010 at 10:43pm

I held her in my arms the day she was born and I kissed her.

I've changed her a fair few times and babysat a lot.
I held her today and kissed her..she struggled a bit but I still did it.

She was 16 today and told me very seriously that she intended to specialise in 'modern languages' when she goes to uni.

I asked her why she's always called me 'daft Simon'

'Because you're a f+ckin idiot' she said.

I suppose that's modern languages for you.

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« Last Edit: Jul 30^th, 2010 at 8:43pm by Bruce Glasscock »

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SnowDog God Member Online Mike Kelly Posts: 1541	Re: Daft Simon Reply #1 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 7:55am She's only saying what I've been saying for years.... Kids eh?...
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Mike Thomson Senior Member Online dont touch my rod !!! Posts: 365 Roscommon, Ireland Gender:	Re: Daft Simon Reply #2 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 10:09am but your names Bruce ?
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SnowDog God Member Online Mike Kelly Posts: 1541	Re: Daft Simon Reply #3 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 6:04pm Mike Thomson wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 10:09am: but your names Bruce ? There's another reason...
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Pie Eater PAC God Member Offline we cum from wigan and live in mudhuts Posts: 918 wigan Gender:	Re: Daft Simon Reply #4 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 6:24pm
Back to top	LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die LFC til i die IP Logged

Bruce Glasscock

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Re: Daft Simon
Reply #5 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 8:07pm

They grow up don't they?

I remember eating a slug just to make her scream and getting her full in the face with a garden hose..

'I'm not your friend any more' she sobbed.

She's still got a complete set of signed 'Bewitched' postcards on her bedroom wall made out to her personally in sparkly pen by all the girls in the band. It was a treasured possession when she was little, and now it's a joke, but she still thinks they're real.

I'm going to have to tell her the truth one day.

I've got a sparkly pen, just like everybody else.

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markyboy PAC

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WE ARE THE NORFOLK MAFIA....RESISTANCE
IS FUTILE!

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Re: Daft Simon
Reply #6 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:21pm

Bruce Glasscock wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 8:07pm:

They grow up don't they?

I remember eating a slug just to make her scream and getting her full in the face with a garden hose..

'I'm not your friend any more' she sobbed.

She's still got a complete set of signed 'Bewitched' postcards on her bedroom wall made out to her personally in sparkly pen by all the girls in the band. It was a treasured possession when she was little, and now it's a joke, but she still thinks they're real.

I'm going to have to tell her the truth one day.

I've got a sparkly pen, just like everybody else.

Wrong! Wrong!Wrong! .........Wrong!... Wrong!
You shouldnt fulfill a childs dream with fantasy Sad

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This movement is getting on my tits!!

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markyboy PAC God Member Online WE ARE THE NORFOLK MAFIA....RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Posts: 2527 Narfuk Gender:	Re: Daft Simon Reply #7 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:25pm Thinking about what i just said......................... I guess Father Christmas is real........
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Bruce Glasscock

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Re: Daft Simon
Reply #8 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:45pm

markyboy PAC wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:25pm:

Thinking about what i just said.........................
I guess Father Christmas is real........ Embarrassed

Yes of course.

And when the ice-cream van man plays the music it is a signal that he has run out of ice-cream. His name is obviously Van Morrisson vanilla ice.

And Aubergines are space eggs waiting to hatch into flesh-eating aliens (called Allen)

And anybody you see with a scar at the top of their arm (TB jab).....that is a definite sign that they have been abducted by aliens (called Allen) experimented upon and then returned to earth to work for the Dept. of Work and Pensions where they celebrate Friday by eating tax-exempt muffins and drinking the blood of little girls.

I don't think I've been a good role-model to this girl.

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markyboy PAC

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WE ARE THE NORFOLK MAFIA....RESISTANCE
IS FUTILE!

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Re: Daft Simon
Reply #9 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:51pm

Bruce Glasscock wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:45pm:

markyboy PAC wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:25pm:

Thinking about what i just said.........................
I guess Father Christmas is real........ Embarrassed

Yes of course.

And when the ice-cream van man plays the music it is a signal that he has run out of ice-cream. His name is obviously Van Morrisson vanilla ice.

And Aubergines are space eggs waiting to hatch into flesh-eating aliens (called Allen)

And anybody you see with a scar at the top of their arm (TB jab).....that is a definite sign that they have been abducted by aliens (called Allen) experimented upon and then returned to earth to work for the Dept. of Work and Pensions where they celebrate Friday by eating tax-exempt muffins and drinking the blood of little girls.

I don't think I've been a good role-model to this girl.

I guess were only human Simon Huh

(unless your name is Allen)

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This movement is getting on my tits!!

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Bruce Glasscock God Member Offline straight outta Loughborough Posts: 1251 Gender:	Re: Daft Simon Reply #10 - Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:56pm She's very well-sorted for her age and doesn't believe a word of what I tell her. I told her I was at the Edinburgh Book Festival this year. 'You're collecting glasses in the bar?' she said.
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noodle

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Re: Daft Simon
Reply #11 - Jul 31^st, 2010 at 12:15am

Bruce Glasscock wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:45pm:

markyboy PAC wrote on Jul 30^th, 2010 at 9:25pm:

Thinking about what i just said.........................
I guess Father Christmas is real........ Embarrassed

Yes of course.

And when the ice-cream van man plays the music it is a signal that he has run out of ice-cream. His name is obviously Van Morrisson vanilla ice.

And Aubergines are space eggs waiting to hatch into flesh-eating aliens (called Allen)

And anybody you see with a scar at the top of their arm (TB jab).....that is a definite sign that they have been abducted by aliens (called Allen) experimented upon and then returned to earth to work for the Dept. of Work and Pensions where they celebrate Friday by eating tax-exempt muffins and drinking the blood of little girls.

I don't think I've been a good role-model to this girl.

i disagree i think children need a healthy dose of random and unrealistic terror, look at fairy tales for one example.
i have a neice who is terror for everyone bar me (8 years old headcase nutjob and downrighight cert to end up inside in later life) i tamed her by telling her if she didnt behave id cut all her fingers and toes off with my cutters (fox so no need to worry, and the rust on them looks like dried blood Grin

)

and feed them to her in fairy cakes.

she did laugh at that but there was an uncertain quality to it Huh

um another example of my evil genius my other halfs lad was being a right little ahole. as punishment for something cant remember what now i told him he had to watch the washing machine for half an hour. he thought it was funny and said it doesnt even run for that long

i didnt even fill it up or turn it on just left it switched off, we laugh about it now but he though it was cruel and unusual punishment Grin

id wait until much later in life before you tell her about the pen and autographs though, preferably after she has chosen your nursing home Tongue

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if i was two faced do you really think id wear this one?

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